We’ve all been there – questioning whether or not we’re being too sensitive to offensive comments. AND also wondering if there’s truth to the offensive comments. Are we really as rude as the person in front of us in line says we are? Are we really as unattractive as the stranger in the fitting room next to us says we are in the new dress we’re trying on? Is a friend right about labeling us as selfish because we couldn’t make it to her birthday party?
These offensive and negative comments (sometimes attacks!) on us are very difficult to just brush off or ignore – and, in fact, I do not advise this. Instead, before taking offense to an offensive comment, make sure you’re thought about the following points:
1. What is going on with the offender? What is his/her position in the moment when the offensive comment was made? What could this person be feeling at the time?
2. Is the offender making this comment to you because he/she feels that it is in your best interest to hear it?
3. Are you internalizing this comment because either a) you feel this way about yourself sometimes or b) you’ve heard someone say this to you before?
Before taking offense to these types of comments, reflect on the above questions. Just because someone says something to you, about you, does not make it true. Instead, realize that their comment is coming from their reality, their perception, and their point of view – and in fact, it may have NOTHING to do with you!
What do you think? Do you have an example of an offensive comment and how you thought about it? Let me know by leaving a comment below!