The Double-Edge Sword of Compliments

Last weekend I was out celebrating my friend’s birthday, and all of a sudden two guys came over to our table. They said, “Step It Up with Steph! Is that you??” All of my friends turned to look at them. I wasn’t sure who they were, but they said that they had “known me before I became famous.” I started laughing and we started talking. Apparently they have been following my Facebook updates for a few years now, and they were amazed by “how far I had come.”

As you can imagine, I was a little bit shocked, pretty happy, and also very humbled. I was honored to have impacted them so much that they felt the need to say “hello”!

Without further ado, here we are all together:
Of course, I couldn’t help but give them a Step It Up with Steph tip while we were at the bar – make sure you drink a glass of water after that drink! 🙂

Back to compliments. Compliments can be double-edge swords. If you base your self-worth on compliments, i.e. if all I wanted were for people to come up to me and tell me, “Good job!” or praise me, we’d have a problem. Similarly, if I was unable to graciously accept a compliment and say, “Oh please, it was nothing, ” I am stealing the excitement from the compliment-giver.

I need to be a gracious compliment receiver in order to accept the gift of the compliment, and therefore make the compliment giver feel good about saying something nice.

On the other hand, if I based my self-worth on receiving compliments, I would never feel a sense of inner peace and inner-validation. Internal validation and motivation are much more long-lasting than external forces. While you may be motivated by words of praise after losing weight or becoming more in shape, eventually your motivation needs to come from inside in order for you to have a good sense of self worth and also have consistent motivation.

What do you think? You can leave a comment below and we can discuss!

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